Doesn’t parenthood ever feel like a long, rollercoaster ride? Some days go so very smoothly and other days you feel completely derailed? Any parent can tell you that parenthood comes with its challenges, but that the rewards trump them all. I won’t dispute that fact. But sometimes I just can’t help but feel overwhelmed. Currently, my 2 year old does not want to go to sleep on time, despite being very tired and my oldest is still adjusting to junior kindergarten. My boys are very active throughout the day and sometimes I feel as if I am just holding the fort down.
Lately, my days are spent running around, from 6:30 am until 11:30 pm. I just don’t stop. Ever. I keep trying different things to keep my stress levels at bay- going to the gym, trying to eat better, trying to sleep earlier, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen, or that I am not consistent. Its so much easier to just crash right? Sometimes I try and be a supermom and do it all – work, cook, clean, raise two little boys, take them to their activities, all while trying to take care of myself and have some type of relationship with my husband.
Sometimes I am conflicted: Am I making excuses for myself or am I truly at a roadblock?
I often wonder- how do people do it? Do others feel as tired as I do? Am I doing something wrong here? Sometimes I feel guilty for not working out or eating properly because its so much easier to have that glass of wine at the end of a long week than go to spin class. Sometimes I feel like there’s just not enough time throughout the day and that other tasks are more important, such as preparing lunches, cleaning, laundry…. With that being said, I am not trying to throw a pity party for myself. Instead, I am trying to tell myself its okay to feel like this and its okay to try to step back and regroup. Perhaps I am at a crossroads in my life and trying to accept myself for who I am and tell myself that its okay to feel this way and know that I am doing my best.
When I was young, my parents made it seem easy, or maybe, it just felt like that because I was after all, a small kid. I often wonder, did my mom feel overwhelmed like myself? Were my parents ever worn-out and tired? I don’t remember them being this way, rather, I remember them as loving parents who did their best to raise my brother and I. They gave me a wonderful childhood which I am so ever grateful for. My hope is that one day my children will look back at my husband and I and say that we did a good job too.